Fear. Powerful word and an even more powerful emotion. There were some good posts on blogs I like to read about fear this week, particularly about recognizing its effect on our behavior and our striving for accomplishment. Although you may not be an aspiring writer, the advice bestowed by old Copyblogger here is wise. And Aaron Wall (from the world of SEO) followed up with this nice fortune cookie:

Many of my projects have went far slower than they should have, largely because I have been far too busy, but also because I have let fear, laziness, and routine guide me toward accepting the needed excuses to wait until tomorrow. Once you get beyond self sustaining it is easy to sit comfortable and make up fake work just to keep yourself busy.

I like. I think these guys are completely right. And what about these gems:

“You and your kiss ass chorus following you around going, “The Field’s Medal! The Field’s Medal!” Why are you still so fuckin’ afraid of failure?”

“What if they said “Get outta here kid, you got no future.” I just don’t think I could take that kind of rejection . . . Jesus, I’m starting to sound like my old man.”

Don’t not do things out of fear of failure. And even if you’re one of the cool guys that already does that, don’t idle because of contentment or unexplored fears of the unknown, failure, or rejection. Werd.

Interview with a Friend is an ongoing feature on TheGreatSuccess.com

So I know you what you’re thinking - “He doesn’t have more than 3 friends?” No dammit, Nolte just thought it would be fun to flip the script once and interview me for a change. I still have plans to hit all of you up with bone-jarring questionnaires. And as I am thrilled to see that this site is still up and functioning after a brief hiatus, let us get on with the post. You’ll remember Tom from the first installment of Interview with a Friend. This time, he’s dropping the question marks.

TN: “Because of you eew ew eeewwwwww I’m afraid”….. (finish this thought)
NB: That there’s no place like home.

TN: In the previous statement I was quoting not Kelly Clarkson but Kelly and Reba. So, going from that, who do you see your self more as?
NB: The only person I know from popular culture named “Reba” is that 68-year-old country twanger that I believe was last seen with a Channel 11 sitcom. I guess I’m like Kelly Clarkson because she’s not older than my grandma. I do love when they dub her shit over cutaways from the California coast to girls walking into shops. Their names flash on the bottom left hand corner. Even though they are the main characters and this is the 32nd episode. What if they did that on Roseanne? Darlene comes down the stairs and we get a “DARLENE – Roseanne’s Younger Daughter”.

TN: Do you know how to mend chicken wire?
NB: I helped Kyle make a chicken coop during one of our learning lab classes. They use chicken wire in place of glass on the roller rink in Lincoln, NE. That’s the extent of my knowledge on chicken wire.

TN: Are you hard? And if so, how hard are you?
NB: Somewhat. I’m as hard as feeling good about yourself in the presence of other humans. I’m as hard as 76-29. Feed me robot juice, play the hook.

TN: I notice how much you like spending 75 bones on a t-shirt lately, do you ever think you’ll own your own sweat shop?
NB: Now see I know you just wanted to bring up some style question after I made that ’03 comment, but I haven’t been getting those t’s lately. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been getting other crap. I’m well aware that I have a crack-like addiction to spending money on clothes and I have no idea how to stop it. I find comfort in knowing that it was a problem well before I had any money at all. That’s how I know it’s really me in there.

I used to empty my bank account for jeans and so I know that when all the fun stops I’ll be left cold and alone with a slim fitting set of Paper Denims. I’m okay with that. And truth be told, all my favorite shirts are from Goodwill or were free. Of course if I were you and Mike those two characteristics would go hand in hand eh (must you steal from them)?

TN: Should I wear a cape more often?
NB: Absolutely. If you wore a cape, people would always have their eyes on you. Always be interested in what THAT guy is doing. You’d be a damn celebrity and eventually you could parlay that into financial benefit. All these people going to school and joining clubs, just put on a cape and put yourself in the public eye and eventually you’ll be better for it. Look at the towel man.

TN: Explain to the locals why you have so much respect for trees.
NB: Trees are quiet and they are wise. They were here before us and they will be here partying it up long after we’ve gone the way of corduroy. They take a lot of shit from people, have their numbers dwindled by murderous crews seeking profit or idleness, and they hold strong. I think there’s an unspoken amount of respect among us all when we look up at a big tree, problem is they can be hard to find for many of us, which is the other aspect that fuels my unwavering respect.

If there’s a big tree to your left, chances are you’re in a neighborhood with some good history. Brick houses. A story. Or you’re out in untouched land. In between lies the plasticated, soulless advance of sprawling commerce and row houses. It’s all relative to your time and place - but god bless the trees.

TN: If you could be a member of B.O.N.E. which member would you be and why?
NB: The one that comes in right after Biggie on Notorious Thugs. He seems to rap the fastest. Although Krayzie is good too.

TN: As you can tell from my questions, I seem to have a severe case of A.D.D. Is this a made up disease by a bunch of damn stinkin’ hippies or is it a valid sickness?
NB: Hippies don’t create diseases, they create annoyances. ADD is not a disease. It’s progress, can’t you see it?

TN: Are you down with the sickness (in general, not related to the last question)
NB: Man . . . I guess so. Is it on Kidz Bop yet?

TN: Who is your role model?
NB: I have many – Jeff Lenzen, Brant Bukowsky, Tom Nolte, and some combination of my dad and Russell from Stillwater.

TN: We used to hang out at one point in time. Do you have any memories that you would like to share with the public about our episodes?
NB: Well, kicking you down that hill was great. A Monday night in 2003. Your inability to open a door to vomit. The years 2004-2005 can’t really be rehashed in one sitting. This one night where I was driving us home and you were in the backseat just cracking yourself up, but I couldn’t laugh cause Kristi was in the front and not happy about the situation. I’m sorry, I suck at this because I loved them all.

TN: Let’s pretend for a second we are celebrating Festivus. We have made it to the airing of grievances and it is your turn.

NB:
Tim: We never lift weights or swim at your house anymore and it makes me feel lonely.
Tom: Sometimes I’m scared you’re going to move to an outlying county and I won’t ever see you again.
Chuck: I hate how you are so content in life. Teach me.
Mike: You grow your hair out and it looks cool but I can’t. Why?
B-Check: You’re hot, you’re cold, black and white. Live in the gray.
Brant: This isn’t over and it’s not going to be until something big happens.

TN: If you ever become a multi millionaire do you think you will lose all of the hair on your head and the try to compensate with facial hair?
NB: I think I will make half-ass attempts at all 3 of the things you mention above and never fully get to any of them. I’ll probably have $800,000, a receding yet present hairline and 3 day old stubble that I’m about to shave.

TN: Are you a dollar menuaire?
NB: I think that’s a toilet option in our loft.

TN: Who is in your line up, and why?
NB: I wish I could drop an audio file of you announcing these. I need a sport though. Maybe SEGA hockey? This is probably the All-Time First Team from our Boulder days:

C – Nick Lachey
RW – Tom Fitzgerald
LW – Dean Youngblood
RD – Jeff Labowski
LD – Herme Kadsopolous
G – Julie ‘the Cat’

Although I really hate putting one of Will’s stupid characters on the list. Black actors? I’ll make them the L.A. Kings? What is wrong with that kid.

TN: I have to ask the famous question. What is your favorite experience with me (hopefully nonsexual)?
NB: Cutting across the neutral zone, you coming from behind the net and hitting me with a pass. Seriously.

TN: About you:

TN: Who is Nasty Nate Broughton?
NB: An underprivileged 24-year-old waiting to burst from the seams. Suburban urban with a pension, always running from something make believe and towards something else that was there all along.

TN: What country did your family claim before the “Lord’s country”?
NB: Crestwood. But the mall was good back then.

TN: What is your first memory?
NB: 7:30 pm, Blues on the radio. Me and my parents.

TN: Have you ever killed a man?
NB: Only on the inside. Unless those Indians we fired couldn’t find another job, then maybe.

TN: Would you ever kill a man?
NB: I’d rather kill a woman.

TN: If so, what weapon would you use?
NB: Passion, deceit, poison and a little bit of money laundering.

TN: What era do you consider yourself to be most like? The roaring twenties, the dirty thirty, the fighting forties, or hangin with the Fonz in the 50’s? Only one piece of advise for you: Don’t ever, under any circumstances, party with dudes wearing powered wigs!
NB: I don’t know what I’m most like but I would always choose the 1950’s, California, utopia. Everything was booming, everything was new, optimism abounded and I just can’t see a better time to be coming of age in our country’s history than then.

TN: Have you ever ran with scissors?
NB: Haven’t we all? If someone says ‘Don’t do that’ then what do you go off and do?

Recently my fair town has been getting some really bad press. Ok, maybe I should rephrase that. For the last 100 years, St. Louis has looked worse and worse, both in the press and in the flesh.

When the new “St. Louis - All Within Reach” slogan came out there were 10x as many people that wrote into the P-D making fun of it than actually commenting on the slogan or offering constructive criticism.

Truly, it has become a region-wide pastime to bash the place we live. Almost as synonymous with “STL” as t-ravs, red-capped hoosiers and Bud is the idea that we are inferior and downtrodden. How’s that for morale? I’m used to it by now, but the flood of stories that relect poorly on the greater St. Louis area just never subsides.

How about these doozies:

- 14-year-old chick hangs herself after being harassed on MySpace by disgruntled friend’s parents. Classic St. Charles white trash idiots here. Terrible story.

- St. Louis leads the U.S. in STD’s. Not the first time it’s been said either.

- St. Louis (St. George) cop goes ape shit on a kid for no reason. I was real happy to see how close this St. George was to where I live. I never even heard of the ‘town’. This actually was one instance in a parade of ‘cops being bad’ stories, tasering people and all that.

- St. Louis school district loses accreditation, and all that ‘hire a consulting firm to run the schools’ BS. Taken over by state. Guess I’ll be sending my kids to Webster or John Burroughs.

- St. Louis voted “Most Dangerous City in America“. I heard these stats are biased though because they don’t take into account houses with more than two television sets.

And all the other harsh realities about St. Louis city having the largest loss of population of an urban area in the history of the modern world, white flight/deseg/racism, losing those railroad contracts, Lambert losing TWA and 75% of it’s flights, not to mention that useless 2nd runway that forced thousands out of their homes, bad public transportation, and so on. Even the local 3rd baseman is talking shit about our manager. Travesty!

We have consistenly made poor decisions in civic planning, education, real estate development, city/county politics and in our relationships with our fellow residents. Sad really. It’s like you have to corner yourself in to the parts of town that you can enjoy and then close your eyes as you speed down the highway past all those that you’d rather just not know were there. That attitude is only fuel for the problem, but I have to admit I have it.

St. Louis - I want to love you but everyone is making it so hard. Well connected, remarkably centered and ‘all within reach’. Except pride.

Have you heard about the home of the free, the land of the brave?  Where there are more TV sets and automobiles than you can shake a drive-thru at?  Well here’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to purchase your own slice of post-WWII Americana. 

McBride ans Sons is currently offering:

A sleek suburban ranch in the newest development in a ‘booming’ county far from racial minorities and those older strip malls that no one goes to anymore.  We’re talking 3 beds, 2.5 baths, a 2 car garage and a motherfuckin’ cement patio.

The large family (TV) room will comfortably accommodate your bulging wife, children and dog for nightly network programs, as well as up to 8 friends from the office for a ceremonial Sunday football game.  There is carpet throughout the home and it features a partially finished lower level that smells of particleboard.

The fenced backyard is large enough for an aluminum swimming pool and a BBQ pit.  Siding guaranteed not to rot for at least 8 years!  Rockwood schools.  Close to many growing satellite businesses - Edward Jones, Man in a Suit Insurance and 3 local bank branches.

The location is complemented by short drives to Target, O’Charley’s, Deals, Hardee’s, Walgreen’s, Blockbuster, Wal-Mart, Payless, Steak ‘n Shake, Starbuck’s, Old Navy, Bed Bath and Beyond, Home Depot, Chevy’s, OfficeMax, Toys ‘R Us, Best Buy, Costco, Culver’s and Phillips 66 (gonna need a refill, a 72 ounce soda and a ding dong eventually).  If you’re one of those high minded folks there is both a Bread Co. and a Borders nearby.

Many young families have shown interest in this development, citing such reasoning as:

“It’s just really nice to know I can let the kids roam the neighborhood and play.  I don’t have to worry about them congregating in a public park or mingling with people who aren’t of our race or general financial status.”

“We were looking for something a little cheaper and out here we can afford 2,200 sq feet.  After I finished college, I knew I had to get a house or else everyone else would think I was a failure.  I want to thank McBride and Sons for their foresight in developing this farmland and making a handsome profit off of me while I work to pay this bitch off for the next 30 years.”

“I’m really excited about getting into our new home.  We don’t care much for those fruits and moolies that go to museums, restaurants without 360 degrees of parking or any of them students at the university.  This here just fits.”

Also, a community board will be chosen next Fall to handle discussions of a possible playground and/or installing sidewalks.  But really, where you going to walk to?  Simply put, this charming ranch is the perfect place to raise a family to perpetuate urban sprawl and unyielding consumption of energy, consumer items, and land!  Just imagine how good it will feel to tell friends and family that “no one’s gonna tell me what to do with ma property.  This is 63021.”?  Open house this Saturday from 1-3 pm.

Interview with a Friend is an ongoing feature on TheGreatSuccess.com

This week we feature one Brant Bukowsky, a man who has already lived a great life at the ripe young age of 31. I probably should call this ‘Interview with a Mentor’ or something . . . but I’ve never been one to avoid mixing business and pleasure. Mentors/students, plutonic male bonding - it’s all the same in the land of a blog based on entertaining a small group of close friends. Let’s get started shall we?

TGS: First of all, thank you for taking time out of your day to do this interview. This is you right, not one of the assistants or housemaids?
BB: It is me (although this is being dictated).

TGS: Some people have probably been to your personal site and read about your early efforts as a budding entreprenuer. What was the funniest business that you ever tried to launch?
BB: When I was 9, I made some scratch off lottery tickets and sold them in class for 25 cents (I just used paper and the silver crayon in the Crayola 64 pack). I sold $5 worth of tickets and had $3 in winnings, making $2 in profits. It was a nice little gig until other dudes in the class started doing it and got caught (not to mention doing it at a loss) which put an end to it. “And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”

TGS: Who has been a greater influence on you, Lance Armstrong or Lance Harbor?
BB: Armstrong. (I didn’t know who Lance Harbor was until IMDB enlightened me. He is the blond in Varsity Blues whose eyes I could just get lost in.)

TGS: Isn’t it kind of ironic that you back one juiced up athlete (Armstrong) like he’s the second coming of Jesus and then bash another one (Bonds) like he works for the MO Attorney General?
BB: Bonds is a dick. Enough said.

TGS: Were you pissed about me bashing the phrase “Carpe Diem” a few weeks back?
BB: I was surprised to see you use the word “moderation” so much in a blog called The Great Success. What you are saying is excess is not particularly a good thing. In that respect moderation is good, but that is not related to Carpe Diem. Carpe Diem is about living life to the fullest, not about going balls out over one thing in particular. You can spend 8 hours at work, striving towards your goals, work out for an hour, watch the Office, play Golden Tee, and that is all moderate, but it can still be considered Carpe Diem. Oh yeah, and go fuck yourself, I like Dead Poets Society.

TGS: Changing pace here a bit, you first attended MU in 1995. Did you have to walk to Columbia that first year or did horses exist yet?
BB: The great horseless carriage was thriving by the time I reached college. I was lucky enough to drive a Dodge Daytona which later inspired the great Adam Sandler song “Ode to My Car”. The door handles rarely worked and I usually had to open the passenger door for girls which I was attempting to “Woo” only to have to ask them to open my door from the inside since I couldn’t get in. One time, during an ice storm, I opened both doors and then discovered I couldn’t close either of them. I used an extension cord that was in the back of my car to tie the doors together from the inside so they wouldn’t swing out while driving to class.

TGS: What were the hot spots back then?
BB: You, of course, just want to get me to say that I went to the Vu, even back then. And yes, I did and it was glorious. It was in the old candy store on Cherry Street. I sometimes walk by there and think of the young floozies I used to grind on.

TGS: You’re in the midst of planning the “Utopia” out there off Hwy 163. What are some of the requirements for admission into the cult (besides two commas in the bank)?
BB: Here is an excerpt from the neighborhood covenants:
“Article 5 (a) iii – No donkeys (in species or nickname) shall be permitted.”

TGS: You guys still shooting deer and other vermit out there?
BB: Mostly just trespassers.

TGS: How do you feel about Lindbergh beating Oakville in girls volleyball this year? That has to be embarrasing.
BB: That meant very little especially since there were more people watching the Nolte/Broughton vs Buk Brothers washers game and we all know how that turned out.

TGS: You know sometimes when you’re not around Brock and I like to laugh about the fact that you never got an Athlete of the Week award from the SoCo Journal like us. Of course I’ve never won an Inc 500 award, but they’re basically the same thing.
BB: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know about you and your high school glory days. And how you used to be able to knock a slap shot over a mountain and how you could have taken state if coach had put you in. By the way, isn’t it a bit ironic you two SoCo stars were never on a collegiate roster, unlike Mr. Division III.

TGS: I’m sure you saw my interview of Nolte a few weeks back. Give me 6 words that come to mind when you think of him.
BB: Old School. Disloyal. Vomit inducing. Pepperoni.

TGS: Quick Poll: If Dave Matthews, Jimmy Buffett and Jesus were in concert together, who opens and who closes? Who’s t-shirt would you buy?
BB: I already have a Dave and Jimmy t-shirt, so I would have to say Jesus. Plus, it would bound to be able to do something cool like turn water into booze. Oh yeah, and Jesus would definitely play the encore aka “second coming”.

TGS: You’ve spoken a few times at MU. You’ve also been on a few panels at PubCon. Doing it for the thrill or for all the hot poontang?
BB: Since I grew up watching the Police Academy movies, I was under the impression that when you spoke in front of a podium, there was a hot girl under it that performed certain activities (although none of your readers will get this reference since most are barely old enough to shave). This is not the case, my friends, but it is nice to make connections.

TGS: Do you sometimes want to give up all this internet business and go back to teaching 2nd grade?
BB: When I was student teaching, at least I never had to put up with hung over people on Friday mornings. Dealing with hung over people is tolerable, but having to hear Rahn’s stories each and every week becomes insufferable. Teaching was a lot more fun, playing the business game buys the bottles of Grey Goose at Studio 54. And both are very rewarding, so it’s pretty even.

TGS: Or maybe at least running to be on The Apprentice again. Is that shit still on TV? Maybe Dancing With the Stars as a backup?
BB: I would have the best shot at being on Phenomenon with Cris Angel. I used to have some mad magic skills. You know what would be a good show? Instead of “Dancing with the Stars”, they should do “Dancing with Scumbags”. You could get people like Rahn on the show. They would have to dance with a chick and see who can make out with her the quickest. The audience, much like the people at Tonic, would vote by shaking their heads.

TGS: You and I have been on a lot of trips together. I think my favorite pastime is the Key West trip, good memories there. You got any particular favorties from Key West? 55 RBV’s has to be up there.
BB: 55 RBV’s can always be replicated with $$$. It was fun the first time because of the spontaneity and that will always be a good one. That is also why almost any activity instigated by Nate Long is a good one. Other notable moments include car bombs at 9 Fine Irishmen, when we saw those dudes playing spin the bottle at the club, entertainment for Phil’s bachelor party, hotel curtains, ShowMe Cardinals trip, your beach races with Jarad (followed the morning after with Jarad asking, ”Did I throw up last night in the water, while naked?” – the answer to all was a resounding “Yes”), PhotoHunt, and Narf adventures in about 6 different cities – to name a few.

TGS: I am kind of disappointed we weren’t able to reserve the room for the next 50 years.
BB: I agree, maybe we should just buy the hotel.

TGS: On a serious note, how long until we all have to start working for Blake instead of you? I saw him eyeing me at the tailgate, like “Dad may like you but I’m not so sure yet. I’m thinking of giving Donkey your position.”
BB: I think Blake does like Donkey over you, he spent 20 minutes last tailgate eating Donkey’s fingers. But seriously, I hope he does something on his own. If he wants to follow in Papa’s footsteps, great, but half of the fun of having success in business is building it. You should know, you have been a major part of that and been doing it with us for quite a while now.

TGS: For real though, through some stroke of luck I was able to find you and this company and it has made my life about 100x better. I don’t think I would be happy anywhere else. Thank you for being born. And if Blake takes over some day I’m okay with that, I’ll just take him to all the conferences and show him what’s up.
BB: You have been a major reason for our growth and we have gone through a lot of ups and downs together. But fortunately, every years things have continued to get better. You know the conference circuit better than anyone and he would have a blast, just warn him about the curtains.

TGS: What’s your favorite Seinfeld quote?
BB: That’s tough, the best one liner is probably:

“The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”

I also like the bit where Kramer is working and Jerry asks what he is doing while at work:

Jerry: “How much are you getting paid?”
Kramer: “I don’t want any money.”
Jerry: “So what do you do down there all day?”
Kramer: “T.C.B. You know, taking care of business. Well, I gotta go. Ah, I can’t forget my briefcase.”
Jerry: “What have you got in there?”
Kramer: “Crackers.”

(This is funny because we used to have “Briefcase Bill” at ShowMe that would bring in a briefcase with nothing in it but candy and soda.)

TGS: Aiight, then. Thanks for taking part good sir. Time to go home and pray for FHA reform.

The leaves are changing, there’s a nip in the air, and the Blues are getting almost 20% of the sports coverage in town. That’s when you know winter is coming my friend. But it’s not winter that we should all be dreading. One of the absolute worst days of the year is about to happen next Sunday (11/4), when we are forced to update our microwave clocks by moving them back an hour. This practice, which was probably invented by those losers from that rival school/country/religion/sexual orientation that you hate so much, really just makes life a lot less exciting.

I know with winter on the way that it’s going to get colder and the days are going to get shorter. The sun won’t be gracing us with its presence nearly as often. It’s finna snow like the LA club scene. But the real culprit of misfortune in my opinion is the fact that we have to change our clocks around so that stupid American drivers can have sunlight on the way to work, and whatever other reasons you need sunlight at 6:30 am and not 6 pm. It’s ludicrous!

For anyone with one of them jibs, even those with cool ones, you aren’t going to be getting off of work until at least 5 pm. Guess what time the sun goes down starting next week? About 5 pm. Sweet isn’t it. Pretty hard to go get a run in or feel like your life isn’t a state of perpetual darkness when every hour of sunlight is spent at work. Like I said, I’m not picking on winter, and I’m not picking on work. I’m looking at you old CDT. You are the bane of our existence.

Because even if you are a cold weather hater there are still things about the winter season that are welcome in our lives. Someone cue Jock Jams Vol. 1:

Sporting Scene: Me, I’m most excited about hockey being in full swing. Les Blues are skating well and the NHL Center Ice package finds me in front of a TV during the night hours (after I run on a god damn treadmill - thanks CDT). Attending hockey games is a nice pastime too. There are other sports of course . . . if you aren’t some hippie, left-wing, canuck loving fruity boy like me you probably are glad about the NFL playoffs and Super Bowl taking place in winter. That’s a man’s sport. Give me some fusion bag of Doritos and tell the wife and kids to shut up, this the man’s time. Sunday bitch. But yea, the NFL, a lot of It’s in winter. College basketball is tight too, and that has most of its season in winter. The MU vs Illini game is always a fav of mine.

Skiing, Snowboarding: Fun fun fun. Heading up to the mountains is one of the best activities a man can undertake. Gliding down a mountain is like owning a suburban house - it makes you feel free, like you’re on top of the world. The culture around snow sports is a nice one as well. It’s a lot like surfing, but more open to outsiders.

Bash for the Stache: December 23rd. Grow a mustache. Party.

Jesus’ Birthday: Parties with the fam, parties with the work. Only in winter.

Hoodies, Jackets, Sleeping Pants: The style of winter is a lot more fun than the summer. One can accessorize with jackets and sweaters, hats and gloves, and sport a wider variety of shoes. This I like. Hoodies are probably the best clothing item in the world today (close 2nd - thong), and they make me wish it was winter all year. Sleeping pants are pretty nice to throw on as well. In summer, it’s too damn hot to be lounging the house in plaid cotton pants. Not now baby.

Hot Liquids: Hot chocolate, coffee and tea taste better when it’s cold outside. When my friend Jay is feeling down about it being dark at 5:04 pm, I just grab him a chai tea latte and tell him, “Drink this man. Do you want me to reinact the final out in ‘82? It’s going to be okay.”

Appreciation: Winter also teaches us all to appreciate a lot of different things about nature and life. There is change. There are times when it’s cold and barren, but new life is waiting to spring free in April. Nature is powerful and we can’t do anything about it. Without all the great things about the Spring and Summer being held back from us for a few months, they just wouldn’t seem as enjoyable. At least that’s a popular rationalization, and I can dig.

- Other mentionables: Sledding, Skating at Steinberg, Mardi Gras, New Year’s Eve with Ryan Seacrest (does he host it yet?), MLK day, Las Vegas PubCon, cold walks in Champaign, and making snow angels.

With all that excitement you can’t blame the winter blues on winter itself. Blame the dick that invented daylight savings time, because without him, you’d have at least an extra hour to enjoy all those things above in the light of day.

Time to go dig the hoodies out of storage and smile. Nooks.

Compliments of a feature on Swami Parthasarathy in the New Yorker, here’s some good fodder for the soul:

Stress is entirely an internal phenomenon.

Stress derives from unreasonable expectations, and attachment to what one has.

Once you make the right assessment, then you have the right expectations and you have no disappointments.

You are the architect of your fortune, you are the architect of your misfortune.

If you don’t find peace and happiness in action, you’ll never find it!

So what do I make of all that? I think the Hindu philosopher has got in right when he says that stress is something you bring upon yourself, and that it is often the byproduct of improper assessment or expectations. To steer clear of needless stress, you have to ensure that you are evaluating whatever situation you may be in (or whatever person is causing it) accurately. I think there are a ton of common anecdotes in our everyday lives that are evidence of this.

“You just have to get to know the guy.” “Shit happens.” “What do you expect, (insert) is crazy.” “Manny being Manny.”

Those are kinda trite . . . buy you feel me right? If you have some projection of yourself in a social setting or a professional setting, one of those “Do you know who I am?” or “This isn’t my job” doobies, then stress be your lunch and dinner. You are the architect.

That last quote about finding peace and happiness in action is also pretty interesting. Swami talks about how most of us these days dread work and action like the plague, only desiring to return to our position of ‘comfort’ in front of the television or in our beds. While he’s probably a little too hardcore for me (”Why you need weekends? Why you need vacations?” he says), it’s definitely a good thing if each and everyone of us can find enjoyment in action. I think that’s what I try to preach about on my little blog here, being active and enjoying it. Work, play, whatever. Find pleasure in action, dear readers, and may the benefits be plentiful.

P.S. I told y’all kids it was all about Roots.  Even JT agrees.

Interview with a Friend is an ongoing feature on TheGreatSuccess.com.

This week, dear readers, we spotlight my friend Mike.  He’s approaching birthday number 25 this week and he’s having a big bash at his parents house this weekend to celebrate.  Constant jokes about the year 2000 snacks will be flying.  Here we go . . .

TGS: Are you ready? Here it is:
MP: No, but hell let’s go for it

TGS: State your name, age, and t-shirt size for the record.
MP: Michael Vincent Pupillo, 25 (you just wanted me to say it), If you’re reppin American Apparel, I’ll take a medium thank you. For all of you futile Wal-Mart shoppers, that’s an extra small.

TGS: I thought it would be kind of funny if you listed out all the different hair colors / combinations you went through in high school. Go for it.
MP: Hmmmmmm, red, blue, green, purple, what I like to call salt ‘n pepper and negro (that’s Spanish). I think that about sums it up.

TGS: To follow on this color theme, I know most people wonder about your ethnicity. Now are you from one of those Central American countries or are you just a straight up Mexican?
MP: Nice, for the record, my pops is Sicilian and my moms is pretty much a whitey but most people guess me Greek or Hispanic.  Last year a student asked me if I was related to Yadier Molina.

TGS: Is it true that you were the inspiration behind Tom Hanks’ character as the ‘alcoholic relative come to visit’ on Family Ties?
MP: Actually you’ve got it switched up, that character’s been my inspiration.

TGS: Do you find it ironic that Michael J. Fox was, at the time, himself a raging alcoholic?
MP: Like rain on your wedding day.  Marty McFly can do no wrong, I’d booze it with him.

TGS: Seriously though, one of my favorite stories to tell people about hanging out with you in the early years was that I would wake up from a night of drinking and be like, “I don’t want to do that again. At least I haven’t been drunk as much as Mike. Hell, I’ll never catch up to him.” It always made me feel comfort. Remember them days?
MP: You’ve come a long way since the early days.  I think it’s safe to say we’ve made invaluable impressions on each other.  As for “catching up”,  your Columbia days have most likely put you at par perhaps even birdie. Heres a tip; I combat cirrhosis with a healthy dose of café each day, really it’s cuz I like the speedy feeling caffeine gives me.

TGS: Speaking of high school, let’s go back to spring of 2001. What did it feel like to stand up there on stage at prom as the newly elected prom king? What was going through your mind? What an honor.
MP: It felt euphoric, as if Jesus himself had lifted me up. It was then I knew my life had reached it’s pinnacle. I recall thinking damn, “I feel twice as inebriated underneath these white lights.”

TGS: They always announce people and then give a list of the shit they do, like clubs and sports. They had nothing for ya. “Michael Pupillo . . . . who is on the Lindbergh lacrosse team.” Not true. Shoulda been “Michael Pupillo, who let’s people drink at his house every weekend.”
MP: That to me was the beauty of it all.  I like to think I was a quality host too.  I was an avid hockey fan as well.  Who cares if all that cheering was alcohol induced? it came from the heart and that my friend is school spirit.

TGS: Thanks to you I’ve had purple hair, attempted the guitar, fallen in love with California, tried tons of food I would’ve never tried, and become about 10 times cooler (by association). Obviously the list could go on. I want to say thanks.
MP: You’re welcome. Because of you I attended college, buy quality denim, and know the words to an absurd number of pop tunes.  Friendships should be reciprocal. One love.

TGS: What’s your favorite memory of you and I (non-sexual)?
MP: Damn that’s a tough one. Probably waiting all week just to go to your house to make CD’s that took an hour and a half to burn, only to end up with BBMak and Soul Decision on them. That or star-gazing.

TGS: You’ve had some shitty jobs in your day, but you’ve always kept your head about you. What was the worst job you’ve had?
MP: Scrubbing the fat vats at Clown Dog. On a serious tip, McSqueeze was the absolute worst.

TGS: You ever gonna watch those real estate tapes your mom got you?
MP: I’m not even 26 what’s your rush for?

TGS: You probably should’ve just been a rapper. I’ve never seen someone tear it up like you. Maybe Busta Rhymes in Finding Forrester.
MP: When I come through when I blow the spot…
Ha ha. But for real, you know my first CD was Young MC? No lie. It’s In the blood I guess. What’s that line in True Romance?

TGS: You spent 3.5 years at McDonald’s. Now you’ve been a vegan for 5 years. About time to switch it up again eh?
MP: I do like to keep ‘em guessing as they say but I doubt I’ll ever break my veg. You’d have be enticing me with some pretty Big incentives if you know what I mean.

TGS: What did it feel like back in 2002-03 when you were losing all that weight and everyone in the press was like “Mikey’s on drugs!” “Mikey’s down to 125 lbs., Checks into Rehab” and “Mikey’s Shaving His Balls and Showing Everyone at the Club”?
MP: Seriously people have no idea what it’s like to work in this industry, the pressure can be overwhelming.  I’m just tryin to go to Whole Foods with my boy Timberlake ya know?  These days I say eff it, let ‘em speculate it’s more fun that way. I still shave my balls btw.

TGS: Were all those crotch shots really accidental?
MP: If you’d like a personal peep just ask directly.

TGS: I know you’re aware that the toolshed tagline on my blog is “Live Exceptionally”. Of everyone I know, you truly know how to pull that off on a budget. How have you been able to do so much with no money? Any advice for the kids out there?
MP: Ha, I’ll consider that a compliment and less a jab.
The day your bank account defines you is the day you quit living.
You can always make it happen, “it’s just a number in a computer” right?

TGS: Run me through your checklist of things to do before getting on an airplane.
MP: Charge the ipod, pop a pill or two, and get some drink tix from Nate.

TGS: What do you see for the Skinflint Montage in the future?
MP: A video(unrated), more parking lot action, perhaps a clothing line.

TGS: Last week, I interviewed Tom. Who do you like more, Chuck or Tom?
MP: Whomever I owe less money.

TGS: Well hey, thanks for playing along. Here’s to us my friend. Cheers.
MP: It’s been fun.  Cheers mate.

Interview with a Friend is an ongoing feature on TheGreatSuccess.com.

Welcome all to the first installment of “Interview with a Friend”. Most bloggers say that a great way to gain attention and traction for a new blog is to interview respected voices within your industry. Since my industry is people, and my readers are generally people I know, this series made sense to start. It promises to give us all new and interesting insights into the minds of people who’s cell phone numbers I have stored in my phone. Without further delay, I give you “Interview with a Friend”:

TGS: What’s your IMO?
TN: Are you talking about pizza?

TGS: You and I have known each other since 1987. Coincidence or conspiracy?
TN: I would like to think that it was just a mere coincidence. But as I look back at our accomplishments, and our ability to dominate everything we do I would have to say that it is a conspiracy to take over the world. The real question now is by whom?

TGS: Enough with the easy questions, who is Tom Nolte?
TN: Just your average B student. White Middle Class (on my good days upper middle), that’s for the ladies. I’m 5-9 (5-11 in heels), with a blistering slap shot.

TGS: Who will Tom Nolte be in 15 years?
TN: Hopefully a steady drinker…. I would like to change that question around to who will Tom Nolte not be in 15? I say this because I don’t want a path. I want the freedom to change and roll with the waves. Therefore, I would like to not be a washed up athletic type. I think I’ll still be dominating cats on the tailgate field, old men’s softball, and hockey. Still beating up on the young and the old. Hopefully I’ll still have some hair to speak of….yeah, doubt that. Not fat. Oh, and not dead. All good things to avoid in old age.

TGS: Everyone knows that you talk a big game but only deliver about 25% of the time. Is that intentional?
TN: Of course it’s intentional! Think about all the greats in your time. Tiger Woods, if he delivered more than 25% he would probably have old Jack’s record by now. Imagine if Bonds hit 25% of his balls over the fence. He would have been a legend * 15 years ago. What if Greg Louganis had 25% of his dives a perfect 10? Or, if 25% of Lance Bass’ songs were number 1. I see you’re trying to bring me down with that figure, but I see that figure as being better then most of the greats in our time.

TGS: Where were you last year? Word on the street was you took some time off to go to Europe and model.
TN: Well when I got back from that gig (gig is a term we use in the industry for work) I took some time off to reflect on past years. I sat under a dogwood tree most of my days meditating with a slick cat named Lorenzo Lamas. Really made me see the light. My focus this year on the games are stronger than they ever have been. I feel like I’m the dominate player of the past and I’m ready to put the stranglehold on the glory that was once mine. Plus that city in the middle of Missouri can really bring a brother down if you hang there to much. Didn’t want to start looking like a townie.

TGS: What is your most favorite thing to do in the whole wide world?
TN: If I were B-Check I would say the beach….Ah….wait you said ‘favorite’ thing. I’ll do you one better and give you a top 5 :
1. Beach. I know the sand, sun, and fun are all horrible (see previous comment above).
2. Golfing.
3. Playing Hockey.
4. Socializing with friends and enemies.
5. Sitting on roofs and pontificating.

TGS:What is your most favorite memory of you and I together (non-sexual)?
TN: Well I would say when we went 11-1. But that’s easy. I don’t know. They are all alcohol-induced so I can’t really remember the entire thing. That night we started walking from downtown CoMo with three pizza’s a 2 liter, and a dream. Oh, and at the Comptons when we started drinking Molson at 4:00 in the afternoon and listening to Mr. Pod.

TGS:I noticed that you stopped buying new clothes in 2003. Are you waiting for the trends to recycle or are you just saying to the world “This is me, I’m comfortable”?
TN: Hahaha… Nice. I stopped buying clothes b/c everyone I know besides you fucking steal anything I get that they like. So I said fuck it! I’m not giving anyone free clothes anymore. I barely make enough money to support my weekends. I can’t afford to purchase clothes for others.
TGS: You’re getting married in July. Discuss.
TN: Well I was trying to wait it out another 3 years and do it like my role model B. Franklin did it. Just be legally married b/c of that 10 year thing. The wife was grinding on me and I caved right after you. For real though, I’m excited for it and am looking forward to the July date. However, I would like to bring it out once again that I won the bet between you and I on this [Editor’s Note: Tom will lose the ‘have kids’ bet]. You are getting hitched first.

TGS: Who are your enemies?
TN: The Brothers Bukowsky, Rick Bagy, The Yin Yang Twins, anyone with a popped collar, and stray animals.

TGS: Start this sentence.

TGS: Some say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Do you agree?
TN: Older or Darker. Doesn’t matter to me.

TGS: We might as well get into a little pop culture montage. Do you think Diddy was behind both Tupac and Biggie’s getting capped?
TN: Well, being a huge Pac fan I would have to say he is still alive. Who puts out more albums after death then when they were alive? Honestly! I hope that guy wasn’t behind it. He’s kinda weak. Think about it. He roles with a preacher (Mase), and has a T.V. show that is about boy bands. Doubt it.

TGS: Do you think I should use ebonics more on the blog?
TN: I think you should cuss like a sailor. Screw ebonics. Go back to your youth hockey past. “Bang the Glass, Buffy gets wet”
“Light Beer and Low Tar cigarettes”
“Jenkerson your balls used to be this big!” That’s where it’s at my friend.

TGS: The Darjeeling Limited. Royal Tenenbaums. Life Aquatic. Rushmore. Favorite?
TN: The Life Aquatic by far is my favorite. You can add that night to favorite memories too.

TGS: Do you support gay embryo marriage or a woman’s right to free speech? Pick one.
TN: Well played. Trying to make me look like an ass. I will not choose one. Both.

TGS:What’s your name?
TN: Tom a.k.a. T-Bone, Spidey, Sea Biscuit, Purple Haze, Knight Rider, Yellow Fog, Silky Johnson, and Clarence.

TGS: What’s your address?
TN: Go Left on Sunrise Highway, Turn Right at Carmons Avenue, Go right at the first stop light. And, I’ll be outside, waiting for you.

TGS: Did Kimberly steal Jo’s baby?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Billy sleep with Allison’s best friend?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Jane’s fiance kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? And if so, did she enjoy it?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Jane sleep with Michael again?
TN: Yes! I can’t believe she did that. Out of all the…..!

TGS: Thanks for your time Tom. Go Blues?
TN: Don’t forget about the Indians.

There was a great post over at Copyblogger last week about fighting through obstacles to creative thinking, and the quote that really stuck in my head was “Quit worshipping rule breakers start breaking some rules.” Pretty sexy huh? I identified with it immediately because I feel like people that are ‘rule breakers’ are often revered in everyday life, but rarely mimicked.

And I don’t just mean the sexy fella on the Harley that smoked Kool’s and used to pick up your grandma for a late-night spin in the 50’s. People that achieve great things - whether they do so in business, art, music, philanthropy, etc. - can generally be traced back to specific actions or decisions they made that went against the norm or the safe play. You may not always see it as breaking rules, but their actions can definitely be characterized as going against the norm. They are the men and women that you talk about inside your living rooms.

The teachers didn’t understand them. Mom and Dad strongly disapproved of their decision. But they took a leap of faith because they believed in themselves and it didn’t matter what other’s thought or what was expected of them. Some may have ended up victims of the times, and yet others fell flat on their face. But I doubt they’d have it any other way. After all, you don’t learn much by not trying. You don’t live much either.

So if you’re sitting back in that leather desk chair and you’re Firefox is fresh off a visit to the FB, play a little game with me. Think of a few people you admire. Did they break some rules along the way? Did they do something out of the ordinary, make a move in life that wasn’t necessarily ’smart’ to most, but now it’s looking mighty bright? I think typically the answer is ‘yes’. In business, it is almost certainly ‘yes’.

Michael Dell. Bill Gates. Somebody named Bukowsky. I know you Facebookers would be interested to read about Mark Zuckerberg. I don’t think he made it to graduation. Really, just insert the parade of names right here, cause it goes on and on.

I suppose what I’m saying is it’s always high time to break a rule or two. If you are thinking of starting a business but you’re stuck in college, think about taking less classes for a semester to get it off the ground. If it starts to go well, drop out. If you need money, be creative. Break some rules. Call everyone you know and seek counsel, and email big name guys that could help you on your way. You never know until you try.

One good way to always break a rule is to do it with confidence. If you act like you know what you’re doing, however big or small, people will generally think that you do. It’s like another favorite quote of mine: “All you need in life are confidence and ignorance, and then success is guaranteed.” (para) From our boy Sam C. up the Mississippi River.

And in the spirit of good fun, here’s the TGS-endorsed rules to break in your lifetime:
- Quit your job and start a new business.
- Skip class. Better yet, drop out.
- Start a band.
- Sneak into a sporting event.
- Go on a last-minute trip.
- Skip a week of work and go on a road trip.
- Write something that pisses someone off. Preferably a blogger.
- Use a fake ID to get into a club or buy alcohol. Or to vote if you’re a needling little pussy. If you’re too old for that, make a fake ID for a Rec center or something like that and try to use it. This makes me think of that scene in Slackers when they go to the restaurant and have fake ID’s saying it’s their birthday. I bet you thought that was cool. But you’d be too scared to do it I bet. Or what about McLovin? His fake ID did him some good.
- Shoplift.
- You should probably do every drug out there. I don’t know about those chemical ones or the ones that require needles, but hey, “Carpe diem!” right?
- Vandalize some property.
- Set things on fire. This may be combined with many from above.
- This list should be a lot longer but I’m tired . . .

And everytime some says “Like that will ever happen”, make it happen. If there is a will there is a way dear reader, there is a way.