Interview with a Friend is an ongoing feature on TheGreatSuccess.com.

Welcome all to the first installment of “Interview with a Friend”. Most bloggers say that a great way to gain attention and traction for a new blog is to interview respected voices within your industry. Since my industry is people, and my readers are generally people I know, this series made sense to start. It promises to give us all new and interesting insights into the minds of people who’s cell phone numbers I have stored in my phone. Without further delay, I give you “Interview with a Friend”:

TGS: What’s your IMO?
TN: Are you talking about pizza?

TGS: You and I have known each other since 1987. Coincidence or conspiracy?
TN: I would like to think that it was just a mere coincidence. But as I look back at our accomplishments, and our ability to dominate everything we do I would have to say that it is a conspiracy to take over the world. The real question now is by whom?

TGS: Enough with the easy questions, who is Tom Nolte?
TN: Just your average B student. White Middle Class (on my good days upper middle), that’s for the ladies. I’m 5-9 (5-11 in heels), with a blistering slap shot.

TGS: Who will Tom Nolte be in 15 years?
TN: Hopefully a steady drinker…. I would like to change that question around to who will Tom Nolte not be in 15? I say this because I don’t want a path. I want the freedom to change and roll with the waves. Therefore, I would like to not be a washed up athletic type. I think I’ll still be dominating cats on the tailgate field, old men’s softball, and hockey. Still beating up on the young and the old. Hopefully I’ll still have some hair to speak of….yeah, doubt that. Not fat. Oh, and not dead. All good things to avoid in old age.

TGS: Everyone knows that you talk a big game but only deliver about 25% of the time. Is that intentional?
TN: Of course it’s intentional! Think about all the greats in your time. Tiger Woods, if he delivered more than 25% he would probably have old Jack’s record by now. Imagine if Bonds hit 25% of his balls over the fence. He would have been a legend * 15 years ago. What if Greg Louganis had 25% of his dives a perfect 10? Or, if 25% of Lance Bass’ songs were number 1. I see you’re trying to bring me down with that figure, but I see that figure as being better then most of the greats in our time.

TGS: Where were you last year? Word on the street was you took some time off to go to Europe and model.
TN: Well when I got back from that gig (gig is a term we use in the industry for work) I took some time off to reflect on past years. I sat under a dogwood tree most of my days meditating with a slick cat named Lorenzo Lamas. Really made me see the light. My focus this year on the games are stronger than they ever have been. I feel like I’m the dominate player of the past and I’m ready to put the stranglehold on the glory that was once mine. Plus that city in the middle of Missouri can really bring a brother down if you hang there to much. Didn’t want to start looking like a townie.

TGS: What is your most favorite thing to do in the whole wide world?
TN: If I were B-Check I would say the beach….Ah….wait you said ‘favorite’ thing. I’ll do you one better and give you a top 5 :
1. Beach. I know the sand, sun, and fun are all horrible (see previous comment above).
2. Golfing.
3. Playing Hockey.
4. Socializing with friends and enemies.
5. Sitting on roofs and pontificating.

TGS:What is your most favorite memory of you and I together (non-sexual)?
TN: Well I would say when we went 11-1. But that’s easy. I don’t know. They are all alcohol-induced so I can’t really remember the entire thing. That night we started walking from downtown CoMo with three pizza’s a 2 liter, and a dream. Oh, and at the Comptons when we started drinking Molson at 4:00 in the afternoon and listening to Mr. Pod.

TGS:I noticed that you stopped buying new clothes in 2003. Are you waiting for the trends to recycle or are you just saying to the world “This is me, I’m comfortable”?
TN: Hahaha… Nice. I stopped buying clothes b/c everyone I know besides you fucking steal anything I get that they like. So I said fuck it! I’m not giving anyone free clothes anymore. I barely make enough money to support my weekends. I can’t afford to purchase clothes for others.
TGS: You’re getting married in July. Discuss.
TN: Well I was trying to wait it out another 3 years and do it like my role model B. Franklin did it. Just be legally married b/c of that 10 year thing. The wife was grinding on me and I caved right after you. For real though, I’m excited for it and am looking forward to the July date. However, I would like to bring it out once again that I won the bet between you and I on this [Editor’s Note: Tom will lose the ‘have kids’ bet]. You are getting hitched first.

TGS: Who are your enemies?
TN: The Brothers Bukowsky, Rick Bagy, The Yin Yang Twins, anyone with a popped collar, and stray animals.

TGS: Start this sentence.

TGS: Some say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Do you agree?
TN: Older or Darker. Doesn’t matter to me.

TGS: We might as well get into a little pop culture montage. Do you think Diddy was behind both Tupac and Biggie’s getting capped?
TN: Well, being a huge Pac fan I would have to say he is still alive. Who puts out more albums after death then when they were alive? Honestly! I hope that guy wasn’t behind it. He’s kinda weak. Think about it. He roles with a preacher (Mase), and has a T.V. show that is about boy bands. Doubt it.

TGS: Do you think I should use ebonics more on the blog?
TN: I think you should cuss like a sailor. Screw ebonics. Go back to your youth hockey past. “Bang the Glass, Buffy gets wet”
“Light Beer and Low Tar cigarettes”
“Jenkerson your balls used to be this big!” That’s where it’s at my friend.

TGS: The Darjeeling Limited. Royal Tenenbaums. Life Aquatic. Rushmore. Favorite?
TN: The Life Aquatic by far is my favorite. You can add that night to favorite memories too.

TGS: Do you support gay embryo marriage or a woman’s right to free speech? Pick one.
TN: Well played. Trying to make me look like an ass. I will not choose one. Both.

TGS:What’s your name?
TN: Tom a.k.a. T-Bone, Spidey, Sea Biscuit, Purple Haze, Knight Rider, Yellow Fog, Silky Johnson, and Clarence.

TGS: What’s your address?
TN: Go Left on Sunrise Highway, Turn Right at Carmons Avenue, Go right at the first stop light. And, I’ll be outside, waiting for you.

TGS: Did Kimberly steal Jo’s baby?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Billy sleep with Allison’s best friend?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Jane’s fiance kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? And if so, did she enjoy it?
TN: I don’t know.

TGS: Did Jane sleep with Michael again?
TN: Yes! I can’t believe she did that. Out of all the…..!

TGS: Thanks for your time Tom. Go Blues?
TN: Don’t forget about the Indians.