STOP. Stop now. No matter where you are in the great walk of life, stop comparing yourself to others. You will inevitably always be one step ahead of person A and one step behind person B. If you don’t step back from this line of thinking, the moment you attain one thing on your list, you’ll find another person or situation to envy. I’ve got news for you:

1. Life isn’t a competition.

2. Everyone else is faking it.

Needlessly comparing your own life to the lives of others is one of the main culprits of stress and dissatisfaction we foolishly place on ourselves. No matter if it’s perceptions you engulf from media sources (magazines, television, movies, etc.) and hold yourself against, or the way you view yourself with respect to close friends and family, you simply have to stop comparing yourself to others in order to live your life your way.

Like I just mentioned, life isn’t a competition. I recently saved a quote from somewhere that said “The race of life is long, and in the end, it’s only against yourself.” That speaks to how the majority of us get so easily wrapped up in living a certain way or striving for a goal that probably isn’t even something we want that badly. From what you can gather from friends and family, though, it is something that you need to attain.

Case in point, I’m 24 years old. The majority of people my age (at least those that didn’t fall off the wagon during or shortly after high school), have completed their undergraduate degrees and are either pursuing further education or starting their careers. Socially, a great deal of them are in long-term relationships and heading towards marriage and a family.

It stands to reason, then, that any given 24-year-old who finds themselves not doing any one of these things might feel inadequate and confused about what exactly they are doing with their life. But what other people are “doing with their lives” should mean absolutely nothing to you, if you’re 24, 39, or 58.

First of all, live life at your own pace and enjoy it. There are of course positive reasons why people move on through the stages of life towards things like degrees, careers, homes, and families - but that doesn’t have to matter.

There are negatives too. I’m not taking either side really, considering I’m well on my way with all 4 of those things. What I’m hoping to make you think about are the falsities behind the reasons many people are after them.

Keeping up with the “Jones-es” is a really bad reason to do anything in life. Feeling pressure personally to “live up to something” within a family is equally as dumb. Friends and family typically have such a profound influence on these aspects of people’s lives that it’s unhealthy.

You look to both groups for support, confidence, direction and approval. But do not bind yourself and the way you live life to these people. They are the most important people in your life, but are they more important than you yourself?

If you’re in a job you don’t like, trying to jump into a house and mortgage you can’t afford, or behaving in any way, shape or form simply because you are more worried about what mom and dad will think you have problems.

It’s not just family. It’s not just your friends. A great majority of people can get caught up in comparing themselves to others through the media (movies, TV, etc.). Initially just through self-image and fashion, but progressing beyond that even to comparing their lives to the lives of fictional characters and celebrities.

Even if you want to ignore the advice about not comparing your life to that of your best friend, please stop thinking about how good things would be if you could be Ray Barone, Vincent Chase, or Carrie Bradshaw. This requires no further explanation. These people don’t even exist.

I suppose it’s only natural for us to think about where we stand versus the other humans out there. It helps provide a sense of “place” in the world, and is even an important step in setting and achieving goals.

But it will never make you a happier person if you’re only doing something to make others happy.  It is equally unfullfilling to pursue a goal only because you perceive it as desirable because of someone else. Stop comparing. Remember, you’re only racing yourself.