After 5 ½ years, I’m shutting down the first company I ever started. 

The story of Arma Shirts reminds me of the informal beginnings of many entrepreneurs I’ve come to admire. 

Those champions of business who got their humble beginning slinging candy in the 3^rd grade lunchroom.  Or maybe it was baseball cards, or selling pizza by the slice.

That’s my Arma Shirts.

The Tale

In the Spring of 2004, Show-Me Tickets was humming along as a leader in the ticket broker industry.  I ran the SEO (“Links Department” we called it), and along with a new batch of hires came Tom Kissell.

Tom’s the type of guy who controls a room, either by sheer strength of personality or by being the loudest.  Not many people are like that. 

Even at 20 and 21, I quickly knew that he and I had a similar outlook on life and business – dream big, exude confidence, and get off your ass and do it.

We also had complementary traits – that’s important in a business partner.  If you’re both exactly the same personality, I think you have less chance of success. 

Start a Business

After a few nights of beers and hundreds of hours pouring through the internet and chatting, it was time to start a business.  I don’t think it mattered what type of business. We wanted the experience and an outlet for our energy.

Tom had an uncle who’d done custom printing in the past.  He even had silkscreen equipment and a ‘t-shirt oven’ in his basement. 

I’d been screwed over by local Columbia companies twice in ’03-04 on getting shirts made.

This was also on the tail end of that ’02-’05 “Look at my t-shirt, it says something ironic on it phase”.

We’re creative.  We’ve got some hookups in t-shirts.  We want to start a business.  Done.

You Always Change Direction

Most companies I’ve been a part of don’t end up doing what they first set out to do.  This has been confirmed in much more serious ventures, like VAMC. 

We originally drew up a bunch of humorous custom designs and tried to sell them online.  There were also a few weeks of sitting in Tom’s uncle’s basement with us and Tom Nolte actually screening and cooking the shirts.  Gotta smile about that.

Among those 2 early hiccups, we spent a lot of time and didn’t make a lot of money. 

We found success through Tom’s connections to the greek community on campus doing custom printing jobs for sorority parties and MU clubs.  Funneling the jobs to a supplier in Southern Illinois, we took the labor out of our process and instantaneously improved our quality.

You Always Get Sued

My sage advisor Brant will tell you, start a business and you’ll get sued within a year.  Check!  We got sued by the Collegiate Licensing Committee in ’04 for some M-I-Z F-K-U shirts.  Good times.

The Point was in the Journey

I wasn’t drawn to starting Arma to make millions.  A few breaks one way or another, plus some more motivation on our end, might’ve made it more likely.  Who knows?  But we just wanted the experience of starting and running a business.

Stating “I have a business” feels good.  You’ve already jumped past 90% of the people out there who ‘talk about awesome business ideas’.  Those people will never even learn how to register with the SOS, let alone take a shot at success.

Tom and I learned a lot, had fun, and had something to call our own.  That’s all that matters, and all I ever wanted out of Arma. 

Here’s to the young and the aspiring – Remember to Love the Journey.

In 2006, my crew and I spent months researching and testing services for online reputation management.  A few years and a few companies later, I’m regaining interest in the field.   

Safe to say, reputation management on the internet is more dynamic than ever.

It’s also more important than ever.

It’s funny to think that job applicants now expect to be Googled by potential employers.  This is fact, folks.  I search everyone’s name I ever meet, whether it’s a business contact, job applicant, or friend from a bar.

What the search results say about you is how you are perceived.  Perception is reality.

That’s the gist of ORM, which hasn’t changed much since ’06, other than that it rings true for everyone now more than ever.

So what’s new?  What’s this ‘dynamic’ talk?

Universal search.

Universal search results refer to the blending of the traditional text listings in Google or Bing with multimedia content.  These include news, images, video, audio, and maps.  This matters for online reputation management because now it’s much more likely a news story featuring your name will show up quickly and prominently in the search results.  It also means that video of you at the off campus party chugging Tequila can too. 

Social.

The revolution will be Twitterized.  Not only can pages from social networks like Facbeook and Twitter now be prominent in the SERPs for a given name, but people are flocking to these sites to find and research others.  What people are saying about you on Twitter is part of your reputation.  So is the stuff on your FB wall. 

Media reach.  Media volume.

The media never shuts up.  It never goes away.  It’s so pervasive, and the technology we have has made everyone so connected and ‘real-time’, there’s simply more being said and more being regurgitated than ever before.  This comes back to affect rep management by increasing the likelihood that attention in a digital format is coming your way.

Still, there are others.   The growth in popularity of sites like GlassDoor and RipOffReport.  The evolution of the search engines to index more quickly, and to snuff out quick-rank schemes (the Squidoo page w/your name isn’t likely to push down a negative result these days).

Wrap it Up.

It’s cool to come back and take a look at something I was so into 3 years ago, and analyze where it stands and where it’s going.  As an SEM, no question there are new challenges to managing a client’s reputation online.  But

I still think it can be done, done cleanly and done well. 

Truly, the best way to manage an online rep is to be proactive. 

Perhaps it’s human nature to wait until something bad happens, and you come in with “Somebody is bashing me on GlassDoor.  I don’t have myname.com even.  Can you help me now?”

Don’t do that.  Follow some simple steps to ensure you get a head start. 

And if you wind up in a bind, I can always bring back “Interview with a Friend”.

photo: VROG

The first time I visited Las Vegas as a legal participant (aged 21+) was PubCon in 2004.  It also marked the first time I went to a search conference.  Safe to say - it was a blast, and help cement in my mind that playing on the internet for profits was going to be a career.

Ahead of PubCon 2009, there’s been a lot of chatter about parties and giveaways.  More than I’ve ever seen.  But I also wasn’t much of a Twitter-er in previous years.

We’re going to be personally assisted via our GrowthPartner.com venture this year and that should be fun.  No more going to cash out my chips like a savage, or waiting in various lines.

I’ve also been pleased to read some insights from a friend I first met at Pubcon ‘04, Jeff Coyle.  Although his intentions to toy with various search engines are always cloaked behind any word published on that blog :).

What’s This Really About?  Walking into a Bar?
No, this PubCon preview is primarily about Project VALOUR-IT.  Never heard of it?  Well, Project VALOUR-IT is a military charity that provides adaptive technology to wounded Vets.  Specifically, they purchase laptops, video games, and GPS systems that have been modified for use from disabled or injured military.

You may or may not know that I do a lot of work with military charities through my company VAMC.  We’ve worked with probably 20+ charities specific to the military in the past 6 years and oftentimes I’m doing a lot of the back and forth.  We also have raised money for VALOUR-IT and its parent Soldier’s Angels numerous times through the You Served blog and radio show I founded.

VALOUR-IT sticks out to me for 2 reasons.  First, Soldier’s Angels is running a specific fundraiser for it right now through November 11th.  Secondly, I’m a techy type of person and I love the concept of getting these men and women laptops they can use despite their injuries.  All good!

The Bar Part
A nice guy I’ve met through search marketing, dk and his PurposeInc empire, have many events going on at PubCon 2009.  Through his poker tournament, he’s asked participants to highlight a charity of their choosing and blog about it to help spread awareness.  Very cool.

Honestly, I’ve failed to discuss at length the importance of charity in a life of “success” (my blog’s theme).  Here’s an early taste.  There’s few who deserve our help more than those who have served our country.  While I’ve really enjoyed that unique part of my “job” in recent years, I can tell you that VALOUR-IT is one of the most unique causes you can give to . . . especially if you are an internet-loving, PubCon 2009 attendee.

See you in Vegas! 

I haven’t offered tips for life success in quite some time.  Welcome back dear reader.  I’ve yearned for your attention these many months.

Here’s a running commentary of important things to keep in mind when you’re sitting at your faux wood desk, in your faux leather chair, or even on a sun-drenched Saturday morning when you’re doing what makes you . . . you.

I’ve enjoyed some great travel in 2009.  Tossed in with some life-altering events like Elite Retreat and other recent business meetups and brainstorming sessions, now’s the time to go on a rant.

If you want to take my word for it . . . Please remember:

Today’s news is tomorrow’s fish wrap. 

With homage to Dan Kennedy, it’s important to know that the majority of the crap you’re consuming through 24 hour news services, yo’ feed reader, and even a good chunk of tweets, are completely useless a mere 12 or so hours from now.  How much time can you waste with the daily news? 

Your inbox and outbox are a ‘busy’ trap.  Quit faking it.

In my world, everybody sits at their computer all day.  With their Inbox open.  They get real time notifications whenever an email arrives (even if the subject is “Happy Birthday”).  Constant interruption ruins your ability to be productive.  Additionally, having a flashing “56 new messages” on your Inbox does not equate to you being busy.  Or important.  Nor does sending 30 emails in a day vs 50.  Quit fucking faking it.  Email is not work.  It is a communication tool, a means to an end.  Make your emails count and take your (work) life back.  Take 15 minutes and use your brain to complete a thought or a project or a plan, and ignore the reply-to-all for a second.  The beauty of email is you can check it any time.  So set some boundaries and set yourself free.

Write concisely.

Never say in 12 words what you could’ve said in 5.  I’m guilty of this transgression, even here in this post.  But a great thing about the flood of messages and content from the Information Age is it is undoubtedly forcing people to write concisely.  No one wants to consume long-winded content.  People scan.  Headline.  15 words.  Get the point across or get ignored.  This applies to email and published works.

What are you working towards?

Why do you work?  What is it you hope to gain from this gigantic time and energy suck?  I’ve come to think the majority of people consider these thoughts less and less as they age, as they get comfortable in a job, as their life “matures”.  You need to figure out if you want $40,000/year or $450,000/year.  You need to figure out what makes you happy.  Whether that’s standing tickets to Vegas or Fridays off to go on hikes or paint, who cares?  You do.  You should.  Don’t just mosey along down the timeline (for too long) without a purpose.

Old school networking pays big.

Me personally, I was turned off by most ‘networking’ crap from my younger days because they came in the form of clubs and the like.  Hated it.  Sit around and play the name game and everyone gets a t-shirt?  Fuck that.  But I was just seeing the wrong things.  There is a lot to be said for finding the right “club”.  People that interest you.  People that you can provide value to, and get it on the flip side in spades.  Investing time and effort into creating relationships with others like you, who challenge you, and who you can share mutually beneficial interests with is worth your weight in cocaine.  Considering all you’re going to do at home is fake it with your Inbox, might as well go to that conference instead right?

People are open to ideas.  Just propositioning them is worth quite a bit.

Pick up the phone or send off an email to a potential business partner/contact/vendor, and most people are going to listen to what you have to say.  You can’t lose.  Seriously, people dig it when a little passion comes along.  A little intrigue.  “Yo, I know this is out of the blue, but I’ve got an idea  . . . “  Might as well always go for it right?  People will be receptive.  They need to be, cause most ideas turn out to be pretty bad.  Law of averages – try as many as possible.

Time is what you should value.

Money is tight.  Very useful.  It can buy time, pleasures, freedom.  But when shaping your day-to-day, old mother Time needs to be priority #1.  Value your time.  Time spent on money ventures, time spent with your family, time spent doing whatever it is you want.  That’s all I want – time.  My time. 

Constantly modify the scope of what you read.

While it’s true that today’s news is tomorrow’s fishwrap, it’s still important to shape your experiences and knowledge through a relatively diverse set of information.  From Kennedy again – you should specialize, but not too much.  I’m into internet marketing and try to stay up on that.  But the WSJ, the Economist, GQ, Charles Dickens.  Ha, just saying, you still need variety.  Everything you experience or learn, it has an effect on your line of thinking.  It will feed future ideas.  Spread it out some.

Read.

Smart people read.  Books.  You could make a living just taking shit out of books and putting it online.  Don’t worry – no one is going to figure it out.  You know what else?  So like 85% don’t read anything.  Of those that do, 85% of them read the exact same stuff.  You’re not going to wake up and find a Purple Cow in your living room unless you step outside the masses a bit here.  (all TGS stats are made up)

Quit being a pussy.

Don’t say you’re going to do something and don’t.  Do not get all pumped up about changing your life or some new idea and then let it fizzle out by Friday.  That’s weak.  Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.  Most do so spending 20 years in the same job, getting fatter, watching TV, not going for it.  What can you possibly fear?  What is the worst that is going to happen?  I’ll tell you – you’re going to die.  And that’s already going to happen.  I promise.  So quit being a pussy.

Technology is a tool that will always change.  Don’t rely on one.

Don’t build a business around Twitter.  Don’t obsess over technology and hot trends in that space.  Tackle them as they come along.  Your business should transcend changes in technology.

Spend time with people you like. 

Whether it’s work or play, spend it with those you like/love.  No sense in working with somebody that you do not gel with.  Personally, I like people who challenge me and dream big, then act on it.  Love a good email about taking over the world.  Love a good roundtable with some beers on the same topic.  And at 5 or 6 or whenever you go home, let it be and live life with the loved ones.  Reward yourself for being instead of doing.  There’s time for both.

You don’t build wealth off a W-2.

Kudos to Zane T. with this one.  On the one hand, “rich” is not “wealthy”.  But we’ll save that for now.  You do not build wealth off a W-2.  You don’t create financial independence working for someone else.  If you care about doing as much, plan accordingly.  Own something.  Build, invest, and get some capital gains. 

So there it is yo.  Follow those and I believe you’ll be much closer to a great success than otherwise.  (OMG, he used the blog name inside a post!) 

Tweets.

Nate

Images from Shots by Me and peterbphoto1390

Dear readers, it has been some 5 months since I have found something to inspire me to blog about life.  It’s not because I have in some way not been enjoying it, not been traveling or chasing the green or thoroughly enjoying the married life and the cit-ay.  But perhaps I’ve been riding the wave in cruise mode and not giving myself time to reflect.  Well, inspiration abounds in my soul with the pending close of the company dearest to my heart – Plus1 Marketing/Media/ACT/Grandpa B and the Goldenrod 5.

The whole Plus1 journey started almost unknowingly for me.  Early in 2005, it was clear that my first love (ShowMe Tickets) was on the outs.  My sage mentor had directed me to work solely on mortgage-related sites and the boys of the original LD were dropping like flies.  It was a lonely spring as I remember.  But come June, I heard the words, “I think I have something here that we’re going to do, and it should be really good for you.”  Indeed it was, indeed it has been.

We started out without a real name even, and our eventual moniker only came after a long, conflicting debate over email (as all company decisions usually are done, even if the involved parties are 1200 miles or 1200 centimeters from each other).  But we didn’t need a name.  We didn’t need a product.  We didn’t need a handbook, or a college degree, and we sure as fuck didn’t need an HR department.  In fact, the fact that we have lacked so many of those traditional accompaniments of business are what I know I will always cherish about Plus1.

The original boys – myself, Mr. Rahn, From, Phil, and Rob, all under the watchful eye of the Bukowsky Empire – were not without talent, vision, funding, or motivation.  Our burgeoning expertise in search marketing was full steam ahead from our times helping ShowMe dominate, doing so well that Google had to take notice.  Now, we were getting placed on center stage to help be the engine behind what would become a monstrosity of a mortgage company (at that time, it was nothing of the sorts), as well as to be the backbone of other successful forays into SEM with LakeRentals and others I’ll leave to the wind.

I loved it from the start.  I was leading the show and learning more every hour spent on Vandiver and Chapel Plaza than I was over months at a time at MU.  I already had the idea that this was to be my career before Plus1 began, but Plus1 is what sealed it.  How could you not love it?  We had blaring music, coloring Fridays, Sega hockey every day, our fish tank, our posters, “state wars”, and more.  Everyone had a nickname, and most still do.  And we had the social agenda of a Hollywood party girl and the bank account to back it.

How I will miss the days of the lead counter that refreshed every minute, the personalized pop-ups upon logging in to the LDSystem which we never used, and all that stuff so unique to the time and place.

This coming weekend, Plus1 will be celebrating its 4th annual X-mas party here in St. Louis, and what a time those have been.  Just getting to plan them and have a party that was completely catered to us made it special.

We’ve also seen a lot of people become a part of our lives since the original 5 and Grandpa B, some mainstays who are as much Plus1 as anyone else – Jay, Dipps, Mitchy – and tons of other talented people who have helped us be successful.  Much of that success has not been directly rewarded to us with news articles or Inc 500 awards – but we are as much a part of any press received by our soon-to-be Siamese twin company, as well as the growth of LR from nothing but a shitty website into a Weather Channel property.  Kudos to all for your contributions to all of these successful ventures.  Be proud and know that you’ve been a part of something unique.

I know I have grown from a basic manager and organic search expert, to someone that has seen all sides of running a business from start to finish.  I can’t begin to list it all out there.  But even if Plus1 was ending and I was out on the streets, I know enough, am confident enough, and have enough contacts and friends to start any business of my choosing and make it a success.  I owe that to my time at Plus1, and the people that have been a part of it.  Thank you all.

So, what is to become of Plus1, my baby?  Technically, not much will change.  But the feeling will never be the same for me, and I can say the same for all of us I think.  We are to be part of the corporate beast, the 200 employee behemoth where there’s a tendency to feel a lot more like Employee #172 than a part of a family that really cares about each other.

Those who have been with Plus1 will always feel some sort of independence I think, some feeling of nostalgia for the times we shared in the back parking lot watching old movies or having the entire company sit around a table at Heidelberg.  With this new beast we are a part of, you couldn’t fit the whole company around the Town Square of the actual city of Heidelberg.

Sometimes I feel like it’s just not “us”, and it’s hard to be totally happy about it.  But this opportunity for the company is only available because of all the great work we’ve done (in between the fun we are the best web marketing team you can find BTW), and it’s important to join up together with the beast and make it an even bigger beast.

I do believe that, and it is going to be a good thing, don’t get me wrong.  Now we will be completely recognizable as a contributor to the day we make the Fortune 500, and not just the Inc 500.  No longer will the well-fed phone jockeys nextdoor act confused when they hear we have a marketing department.  (Actually, that probably won’t change.  Neither will the arguments at the tailgate about who the hell we are, if we even know whos tailgate this is, etc.  Yes!  Oh and just so you know, in 4 years you’ll be gone and back working at John Deere, and we’ll still be here.)

So my friends, let us look forward to the future no matter the name on our building.  Let us hold strong to what we’ve created over the past 3.5 years.  We’re still all here together and sharing good times.  We are a bit older, a bit wiser and a bit more formal (Lane would be happy to sit in our office(s) these days).   Let’s go out with style this weekend.  Cheers to Plus1!

Over the years, I’ve gotten more and more into soccer (and less and less into apple pie sports like da baseball - please don’t shoot me Jay). Luckily, my workings have led me to a small ownership/contribution/consulting-type deal with Columbia-based soccer retailer SoccerPro.com.

The site is legit and growing, and Tony, Curtis and the boys recently launched a podcast called the Goalmouth Scramble. On the July 10th edition, Curtis was nice enough to have me on to talk about loyalty in soccer and I got to do previews of Arsenal and Middlesbrough for the 08/09 season. In an effort to boost the # of listeners for the moment, friends, family and subscribers to TGS should go give it a listen.

Curtis is a big Manchester United fan so that kinda sucks, but they pulled off the “double” last year and they have the Prince of the Pitch sporting #7 for them. I suppose they aren’t a tough team to root for these days. My pick for the title this year? Chuck’s boys over at Liverpool. Tune in to FSC and Setanta on weekends this fall for more. It sure beats watching whatever else is on.

Update: Arsenal’s having a good start to the season.  Big game against Man U coming.  Check out tickets from my buddy Nick’s site Manchester United Arsenal Tickets.

Travel is an activity that is wide-ranging in its benefits of experience, and that’s a big reason why I personally love to do it as much as possible. Seeing the next town over or crossing an ocean can have equally profound effects in broadening perspective and in just simply being fun. I think in many ways, reading can provide the same benefits. While it’s more of a cerebral exercise to take words on a page and let them play out among your imagination, seeing the sights of a new land and reading tales of its (or another’s) history can get you to thinking. That’s what I love. Point made.

So in a recap of a recent 13 day excursion that took me to many picturesque locations in Europe, and upon completing Jared Diamond’s “Collapse”, I offer this dear readers - revel in the sunshine. Don’t be upset when tomorrow brings clouds, or even unyielding darkness. Be an insignificant little speck in the behemoth of our planet and our kind’s history, but know that there is good in that role.

Diamond’s book takes a look at a series of societies that have collapsed over the past few thousand years - and by “collapse” I mean they basically ran themselves out of existence. What did they do wrong? Usually they did not adapt well to their environments, and made many mistakes amongst their cultures, politics, and values that eventually led back to screwing themselves out of a livable habitat. In a time where populations are rising to previously unforeseen levels and human impact on the planet is astronomical, it’s hard to not have doubts about our ability to support the lifestyle we currently enjoy here in the U.S. We may in fact be able to hold out at the expense of other countries and other continent’s natural resources, but essentially buying yourself the right to be the last to die is something that Diamond warns against.

Sitting on the Greek island of Santorini, hopping around through southern Europe, it all makes it seem a bit more “real”. The people there are just like you and I and there’s no way to think that even if disaster were to befall on them, or in Asia or Africa, that it doesn’t come back to haunt America. I’m not a doomsday artist and I’m not here to give a book report (especially not a Boston-area book report on Oliver Twist - “Does that encapsulate you?”). I’m just putting it out there that shit like volcanic eruptions, loss of food supply, politically-motivated genocide, all happens and it’s not a big surprise. All the same, if you lose your job or your dog gets hit by a car, don’t feel special. The sheer mathematics of what is seen as catastrophic or sad, the loss of a lifestyle or of life or whatever, is insane. Insignificant little speck. The times we live in may see a continued prosperity or they may see the complete downfall of it all.

One person we encountered on our trip was an ex-pat from California who had moved to Nice in the 70’s because she was appalled by what happened in Cambodia, especially in the wake of the Vietnam war. It upset me to hear her reasoning for leaving her home, only to get a little salvation when she said the main thing she’s learned in the past 30 years of living in South France is that there are problems everywhere. She couldn’t run from them by leaving the country. I just hated the reasoning - it all would’ve happened regardless of her existence, her interpretation, and how she decided to react. Why uproot your life for that? Uproot your life for love, for adventure! What if she would’ve been out to dinner when the news report from Cambodia hit the 6 o’clock news? If you want to learn about this world then don’t expect to get the endings you do in fiction. Reality defies fiction in every way - that’s the basis of fiction.

There’s no way for me or for anyone to get the low-down on every event that passes in our world. She thinks that Cambodia was unique? That shit is everywhere and always has been. Don’t forget you’re only just a speck. It is human nature to both forget that and for those things to happen.

I know I mentioned that there are ways to revel in that role of being a “speck”, that the macro factors of society and perhaps our planet are beyond your direct control. It’s just a matter of perspective and deciding how to react to that type of stuff. Learning about these tragedies, just like the way you can learn about “neat” things like the history of some Greek winery, is all just food for the mind. Accept them both and smile at the sunny parts, the sunny days. Travel. Read. Spend some money and let yourself be. Don’t be selfish about your place in the world, it’s all fleeting anyhow. Only then will you feel like it’s all a great success.

For any interested party, here are some pictures from the crew’s recent adventure to Amsterdam. I am still waiting on some from Barcelona (which is a fantastic city), and I’ll try to post those soon. A formal web-based thanks to Andy, Jay, Brant, Mango and Jeff C. for taking part in the trip. I’ll never forget it.

Pictures from Coyle’s Camera

Pictures from Mango’s Camera

Update: Pics from Jay’s Camera of Barcelona

Some of my favorites:

The Barksdale

The Chill

The Classic

Boys in a Foreign Land

My friend that lives in what was once the blue kicked off the online version of “Things for Poor People”. I thought I’d weigh in with some other prized pastimes of the peasants here today.  You will notice some of these as repeats but that’s only cause they are so damn true.

Red car interiors
Off-brand cereal
White tube socks
Receipts
Ice Mountain water
White bread
Wrangler jeans
Backless seating
Deep fryers
Gravel
Sharpening pencils
T-shirts with the neck stretched out
Shop ‘n Save
Manual toothbrushes
Bar soap
Manual can openers
Putting cane sugar on rice
The Florida panhandle
Branson, MO
Truck stops
Skiing in jeans
Economic stimulus package checks
Sharing a bathroom
Bad weather
I want to re-state this one: The 6 o’clock news
Culver’s
Retail shopping
Network television
Kids
Exclamation Points!

People are always hating. No matter who you are, there’s someone out there that would be absolutely disgusted by you, your beliefs, or how you view the world. So I got to thinking about the various things that seem to help one avoid being hated on. The alibis of society if you will. While this list shouldn’t be much of a surprise once you think on it, it is kind of humorous to consider.

When you’re a kid, it seems like the ultimate alibi is having good grades in school. Like the fellas in Better Luck Tomorrow, “as long as our grades were there we were trusted”. You can steal, skip, smoke, sell drugs, have sex in the bathroom and cuss out a teacher if you are a straight A student. For the most part anyway , , , I can cite first hand examples of people doing them all, and if you can’t, you’re a tool.

Furthermore, school is in many ways a microcosm of society. One can start to draw simple parallels between these behaviors and the alibis that protect them in the ‘real world’. How about one that works when you’re young and really works when you’re older? Good athlete. If you’re a good athlete, even if it’s only the BMOC complex in your small little part of the world, you can get away with quite a bit. Teachers will boost your grades (possibly under duress of a fat man in gym shorts). People will overlook your discretions. The cops will give you a break - at least they should, what the fuck is wrong with Columbia, MO? When you pull over a car and Jeremy Maclin is in it, you shake his hand and send him on his way. Revered athletes can gamble, cheat, steal, kill, do copius amounts of drugs and alcohol, and get the special treatment. Alibi.

Back to those that the average man has a better shot at using - how bout good looks? If you are attractive you get the benefit of the doubt in most life situations. How about race? Depending on your time and place in history, it’s probably going to be beneficial to be of one race and not another. This is blatantly obvious and switches as quickly as the local weather (as to which side you “should” be on). Race can be an alibi. Isn’t that sad? That’s humans for you.

Along the same lines as race is religion. If you get confronted by someone with a knife, you better have the right answer to “Which God is your God?”. Just the same as dating someone - grandma ain’t going to like it if your little sex partner is Lutheran when you’re family is Jewish. No alibi.

What I’m saying is, as soon as a point of conflict arises in any situation, you want to be able to provide as many useful alibis to benefit your case. “Man, why you going to call me out? I’m a straight A student who loves Jesus and could throw a ball over that building. I’m cool.”

A lot of domestic crap can be used as an alibi in this sense as well. Having money. Being married. Owning a house. Having kids. I just envision news reports and talking heads coming down on people because they are clearly not a participant in the circles that do any number of these honest, hard working things. In a question of character or wrong doing, people will look at you different based on how many check marks you can accumulate on the side of these “good” alibis.

Consider yourself warned. It’s like Super Mario though, you can head out and collect alibi coins any time you want. If you have the chance, I say go get ‘em. Cause you know as well as I do that they don’t mean shit when it comes to other people determining a person’s actions, thoughts, or motivations. They just plain look good.